The Abnoxious Copenhagen Deal

The deadlock at Copenhagen got me curious. I wanted to know what is exactly there on the deal that was written and re-written every 35 seconds and why are people objecting to it. So I took the help of an inside man at Copenhagen. The man got me a draft of the deals and what I found was absolutely shocking. The problem was not much in the industrial emission cuts, but in a new 'TarrrPurrr clause' that was included based on a research report from a Lebon prize winning scientific institute on climate change. It was found that the parliament buildings all over the world were major contributors of GHGs (green house gases), especially methane, particularly high during parliamentary sessions. Further research led to the understanding that politicians everywhere are the culprits. Excessive FARTING by politicians has led to an increases in GHG levels and is a major reason behind not only global climate change, but also several other socio-political-economic problems. Hence the deal had put a cap on the abnoxious gas, politicians of developing countries are allowed to emit.
This was definitely biased and preposterous, because it deprived politicians of their fundamental right - 'Right to Fart'. When the politicians of developed nations have farted enough, not only in their own country, but also elsewhere, putting a cap on politicians of emerging economies was found unjustified. Especially some of the top potato producing nations were in a fix. Farting is second nature to parliamentary meetings. Not only that, it was a gross insult to all world citizens who elected these leaders. The question that was asked, "If our leaders are not even allowed to fart, what else are they supposed to do?" Many people also took offence to the fact that students from third grade were asked to write this deal as part of their annual essay writing competition, while the earlier agreed set up was that the students from fifth grade will write it. All the above reasons combined, led to this infamous standoff. However, after an extended late night booze party, the world leaders agreed to scrap the 'TarrrPurrr clause' from the deal, but found a new problem. The deal was written a record three hundred billion times that Copenhagen had already exhausted all its paper reserves and the party was drawing to a close. So, someone suggested that they use toilet paper to ink the final deal and thus it was done. This may be an indication that the world leaders are going to wipe their ass with it.. Finally!