Letter to a terrorist

Dear,
I don’t know how to address you; you look almost like my younger brother. I have no idea what just happened to me. All I can see is that I am lying on the ground and there is blood gushing out of my throat. I see some more bodies around me and I can see you. I am just guessing because I see a gun in your hand, you probably shot us all. I feel no pain and I feel as if this body doesn’t belong to me, may be because I am going to die. That makes me think that I have very little time left and I might never be able to catch the fast local I am waiting for.

All my life, I have hated people of your kind like everyone else does. But today, when I know I am dying, I am left with no hate for anyone. A feeling of overwhelming love embraces me today and I feel the same love for you. I am struggling to breathe, but I can think clearly and I am sure you have done no good for yourself or for anyone else by shooting us all. You have not killed me; you have only killed any possibility of a hopeful future.

I have a three year old son, a very lovely son. He has just started speaking, in broken words. He calls me ‘Ppaaahh’. It is very unusual for a kid of his age that he stays awake till I return home everyday. I sing a few songs till he sleeps on my lap. On days when I am too late, the first thing in the morning, he looks for me. Our day doesn’t begin until we exchange a few laughs. In his presence I forget all my worries and realize how wonderful this world is.

I am late today. He might have slept by now. But when he wakes tomorrow morning, I am sure he will be hoping to find me by his side and I am afraid he won’t find me. He is very scared when the power goes off or when the room is dark. But when I am with him he fights his fear. He is full of hope that I will protect him. In the parks or on the stairs, he runs without a worry, never looking back. Because he knows that I will always follow him like a shadow. He cries when others throw him in the air, but when it is me, he is full of excitement. He feels that he can fly and trusts me completely to catch him when he is falling down. He rode with me on my bike for the first time yesterday.

But things are going to be different tomorrow. When he wakes he won’t find me, neither will he have a reason to wait late in the night for me. When he runs in the park or on the stairs, he has to look back every time to ensure that someone is following him. He should now learn to fight his fears without me and get used to darkness. Probably he should now let others throw him in the air and try to enjoy the excitement of flying. But he should always be wary of falling down. He is too young to ride a bike or understand all this, but he should soon learn to be his own man, because, after today, there is no hope of my return. Brother, you have not killed me, but killed the hopes of a three year old kid.

When you kill hope, all you get back is hatred. Life is so dear to those who are living. I would want him to be filled with the same love I have for you today. But on the day he knows his father was brutally murdered by men of your kind, on the day he knows his hopes were killed by a young man carrying a gun in the CST, it is tough to convince him to love you. I don’t know why you are on a killing spree, but I know it does no good to you or your cause. I am an atheist. The only religion I believe in is humanity and the only Gods I worship are those who serve mankind. Hope is the only prayer and you have killed someone’s prayer. It is foolish to expect grace when there is no prayer.

If you are doing this because you had a bad past, it makes no sense, because you will be replied back in your own language and the mankind will run in a vicious circle of vengeance. If you are doing this for a peaceful future, your ways are definitely wrong. Bloodshed brings more bloodshed and not peace. I don’t know why they call you a terrorist. To me, you look the most terrified. This terminus will open again tomorrow and there will be another bunch of people like us, waiting for the fast local. But you will go into hiding; scared and terrified of our strength, of our courage and of our hope to live another day.